Advice Column #4

Dear Dude: I think my friend is depressed. How do I know if it is depression, and what can I do to help?
Helpful in Humboldt

Dear Helpful in Humboldt: Good for you for helping your friend. It seems to me that someone who has such a good friend should not be depressed. First make sure your friend is really depressed. The following symptoms are common in depression:
-low self-esteem
-alchohol or drug abuse
-feelings of worthlessness, helpessness, and guilt
-loss of interest in daily activities
-lethargic
There are others of course but if your frind is suffering from any of these you should have a talk with them and let them know that you are worried about them and ask them to seek treatment such as a counsellor, psychiatrist, or help line. From my expierences people don't like to admit they are depressed and it can be a difficult undertaking to get them back to their normal selves. I wish you good luck.
Sincerely: Dude

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0305.html

Dear Dude: Today my daughter asked me what it means to be beautiful? She thinks that it is the beautiful people who are the most popular and I heard that there have been studies that beautiful people get better jobs. What should I tell my daughter? How can I explain to her what beauty is when she sees such stereotypical images on t.v but she notices it at school too? Are there advantages to being beautiful?
Unsure in Unity

Dear Unsure in Unity: I think that it's a good idea that you would discuzz this subject with your daughter, now days there are many misconceptions upon what beauty really is. Everyone has there own beliefs on what it means to be beautiful, some consider good looks to be all that beauty is. Others think what is beautiful about someone comes from the inside, how they act towards others. I am assuming your daughter is young so the way I would describe beauty to someone younger would be to tell them to take a look at nature and notice how almost everything is beautiful and then put that in terms of people that people can be beautiful in their own way. Beauty really is the eye of the beholder and the way people percieve beauty reflects their personality and individuality. It is natural that your daughter would already have an idea of what is beautiful and what is not because it is something that is learned by a child in early developement. In our modern society there are many benifits to being beautiful, such as getting better jobs, making more money, people treating you better and so forth. However if you are hardworking, have a nice personality, etc. then there is no reason that you would be treated any differently. This would be an example of being "beautiful on the inside".
Sincerely Dude

http://www.philosophytalk.org/shows/what-beauty
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty

Advice Column #3

Dear Dude: Why do people constantly compare themselves to others? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Comparing in Cabri

Dear Comparing in Cabri: It is normal for people to compare themselves to others because it is a natural human instinct to fit in. When people compare themselves to other people they are making sure that they fit in with the group they wish to be associated with. However if you are comparing yourself in a way that makes you look bad, you are likely to have drop in self-esteem. In this way it would be a bad thing so you should probably limit how much you compare yourself to others, that way you don't have to worry about having to be better or worse then someone else.
Sincerely, Dude
http://zenhabits.net/lifes-enough-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/

Dear Dude: I recently read an ad in the paper that was looking for a sales associate position. At the end of the ad it said to make sure that you show up in dress clothes when applying. I found this rather odd. Why would she specify that in the ad? Does this have to do with making a good first impression? How important is a first impression anyway? I have good references, isn't that enough?
Perplexed in Ponteix

Dear Perplexed in Ponteix: Well first off, let me say that first impressions are important because the first few moments when you meet someone is how they are going to see you until they know you really well. This is natural instinct from when we had to decide quickly if someone was a friend or a foe upon first sight since survival was an important aspect of life back then. Also to be a sales associate you would need to have a certain amount of professionalism. So wearing snazzy clothes would be important for this position. Besides who wants to work with a slob?
Sincerely: Dude

www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200405/the-first-impression
www.psychologytoday.com/basics/first-impressions
http://www.apa.org/monitor/mar05/slices.aspx